CONFLICT RESOLUTION 101: PART II | Hannah Hutchinson, founder of Your Conflict Coach and local conflict and relationship expert, guides us through a few simple shifts that will transform the way we mitigate, manage, and reduce conflict in our workplaces:

Conflict in a workplace goes by many names: organizational conflict, business conflict, executive conflict… no matter what you choose to call it, workplace conflict has 1 key distinction from other kinds of conflict— at work, you don’t have the power to remove yourself from the relationship. 

So where does that leave us? What can we do to make things better for ourselves at work without compromising professionalism?

‍

‍

Here’s the short answer— in conflict, we’re used to reacting, when we should be responding. 

Let’s look at the difference:

Reacting:

• Emotion-Driven: When you react, your response is often impulsive and driven by emotions like anger, frustration, or defensiveness. It's a spontaneous and immediate reply without much thought or consideration.
• Automatic: Reacting tends to be automatic and instinctual. It happens without much conscious deliberation or reflection.
• Limited Perspective: Reacting typically comes from a limited perspective, focusing narrowly on one's emotions or immediate impulses.
• Can Escalate Conflict: Reactive behavior can escalate conflict because it often involves a defensive or confrontational stance, which may provoke further reactions from others.

Responding:

• Thoughtful and Deliberate: Responding involves taking a moment to think before reacting. It's a more thoughtful and deliberate approach.
• Empathy and Understanding: Responding often incorporates empathy and understanding. It considers the other person's perspective and feelings.
• Choice: Responding implies making a conscious choice about how to react. It involves considering various options and their potential outcomes.
• Problem-Solving: Responding focuses on problem-solving and resolution rather than just emotional expression.

Reacting tends to be instinctual, emotion-driven, and immediate, while responding is more intentional and thoughtful, and considers the broader context of the conflict. Responding is generally more constructive in managing conflicts, because it aims to address issues calmly and with a focus on understanding and resolving underlying problems.

‍

‍

In a lot of situations (especially the workplace), we’re expected to maintain a civil tone, have a positive attitude, and use respectful language. This makes a lot of sense, but it’s MUCH harder to do when we are in situations that require us to stand up for ourselves or fight to be heard.

As humans, when we get triggered, we have a tendency to immediately react, out of self-preservation. Let me remind you that this is normal. 

However, in a workplace specifically, those reactions can create long-term damage with people you have to see and work with every day. Plus, you run the risk of an outburst having a negative impact on your overall professional environment. In short, it’s counterintuitive.

‍

This is when it’s especially important to have the skill of PAUSING.

It seems simple, but in practice it’s much much more complex. Lucky for you, I have a cheat code... (You’re welcome!)

We all have some sort of physical feeling inside of us when we get triggered and feel the urge to react. For some, it’s a spiked heart rate. For others, it’s a surge of heat through the neck or chest. Maybe it’s pressure in your head, or shaky hands, or an eye twitch, or a pit in your stomach…

Figure out what yours is.

Use this as your personal alarm. 

Recognize when it comes. 

That’s your signal to pause — respond instead of reacting.

‍

‍

Don’t get discouraged if this doesn’t come natural; passion and self-preservation are really critical skills to have! In the workplace, though, sometimes there are more professional ways to channel those skills. 

Some real examples I’ve seen:

• Instead of reacting passionately to a coworker who is being disrespectful, pause and focus on the task that needs completed, knowing that your passionate energy will be better utilized on different people.

• Instead of jumping to defend yourself against a rude potential business partner, turn your self-preservation dial up even further and set some functional, professional boundaries, even if it means putting them in a contract format. 

‍

Workplace conflict is fairly inevitable, but ruined coworker relationships don’t have to be. Dreading those interactions doesn’t have to be. Avoiding it doesn’t have to be. I hope this mindset shift can provide a sense of courage and peace, allowing you to manage your workplace conflict a little easier! 

‍

Love always,

Hannah, Your Conflict Coach :)

‍

‍

‍

ABOUT THE AUTHOR | Hannah is a local communication expert and conflict coach, helping people develop conflict resolution skills, emotional intelligence, and relationship competency, so we can all live happier, more peaceful lives with those we love AND those we tolerate. She’s passionate about making this information accessible to everyone, so you can find more tips and tricks on her social media, and she hosts a podcast called “Secrets of a Conflict Coach”! By contributing to NWAGG, she hopes to reach more beautiful souls & spread the art of peaceful living to more people who crave it!

Connect with Hannah on Instagram

Connect with Hannah on Facebook

Connect with Hannah on Linkedin

Connect with Hannah on Tiktok

View Hannah's Website

Book a FREE connection call here.

Listen to Hannah's podcast here.